Like Neil Sedaka said, “Breaking up is hard to do… Ok, even though it’s an outdated song, breaking up isn’t. It is hard to do. And when that day comes, people respond to it in different ways. Whether you knew it was coming, have been trying to find the courage to leave or, you were taken by surprise and your pillows are drenched, it happened. Now what? Well, some will isolate and say, “I’ll never love again!” and they don’t! Some become angry and bitter and say, “F love!” and take their pain out on others gathering victims because they were hurt. While others jump right into the next person for fear of being alone. Have you ever noticed that all your relationships have a lot of things in common? Quietly saying to yourself, “This is familiar,” but you can’t put your finger on it or even ask, “why?” Different face, same scenario. Whatever the reaction to your break-up, whether you see it or not, it will have an effect on the next relationship. Not unpacking your bags when you left the last one to reflect with honesty, keeps you stuck in the same patterns, leaves you angry, lonely and eventually bitter. Not unpacking your baggage from the old relationship and throwing them on the pile with your other ones just makes a mess. Worse, you just take it into the next one and are left miserable and confused again. What’s the common denominator? You. You are the same person who’s in all your relationships. Would you like to change? Would you like to find out why you pick the same guy in the first place? What kind of behavior are you attracted to and why it ends up the same? Learn what you want and what you don’t want, which parent he reminds you of, what you bring into every relationship and discover what it is you are really looking for.
Love is a choice, so choose wisely. Breaking up IS hard to do, but it can be your best teacher! It’s time to unpack.